Saturday, 25 September 2010

Spencer (or what a very mad world this is)

Just under a week ago, Spencer came into my life.
Of course, I didn't know his name then; that came later. And, to be honest, I didn't much like him at first.
It all began last Monday, and I captured the slightly inauspicious start on Twitter:
"And....I opened the front door and walked face first into a cobweb. Yeeuch."
The spider got me again the following day - sticky strands of web left trailing across my hair as I knocked him to the floor.
Surprisingly, my request on Twitter for ways to move him on, actually came up with a number of responses. I couldn't bring myself to squirt hairspray on the web, although apparently that would have done the trick. And naturally I quickly dismissed Philip's suggestion that we might clean the house.
By day three, I thought I'd got smart. I remembered the web booby trap, remembered to open my eyes, and ducked as I left home for work.
It was early. I hadn't reckoned on the neighbours being up and about. I'd missed a web hair-do, but my smugness was diminished when I realised the man across the road had been watching my very odd ducking behaviour.
By day four, the spider had worked out that living in the doorway was just too hazardous; he'd moved to the window frame. As I looked out before setting off to work, the early morning sun glinted on the diamante dewdrops caught on the web.
And a strange thing happened. Before I'd even thought of it, I'd received a Tweet asking me how the spider was. From someone I don't even know.
What the ???
Next day I was working at home. No need to rush out the door, no need to even think about the outside world for a while, but I found myself drawn to the front window to check if the spider was still there.
He was. That was when I decided to give him a name.
Spencer.
My Twitter friends seemed to like the name, they soon picked it up. He was no longer just a spider, he was Spencer the Spider.
And so, it went on until today. Saturday; the one day in the week I really, really want to lie in bed. I should have known better than to reach for my phone and check Twitter.
It was only just gone 8 o'clock and someone had already asked me for a Spencer update.
"I'm worried about Spencer. It was a cold night"
My relaxing lie-in was ruined, I felt compelled to go downstairs and check.
He was fine. In fact he'd had a busy night, spinning spider silk down from the window, across the bench and into the log pile. It looked beautiful. I began to wonder, if we left him alone for long enough, whether he might eventually cover the whole front of the house in webs, trapping me like a princess in my castle.
During the day, references to Spencer kept creeping into our conversation. Philip asked if I was planning to change the cat's name to Marks (so we'd have Marks & Spencer).
I suggested I could write a children's book, my beloved wanted to elaborate - he wanted a story from Spencer's perspective; telling just how the spider felt when the idiot woman walked through his web day after day.
So now it's Saturday evening. As I sit here typing this, I've no idea if there will be a spider outside tomorrow. I'm not sure how I'll feel if he's upped and disappeared.
And I can't help but wonder what sort of mad, mad world  it is, where I decide to make a pet of a spider, and where people I love, and people who I've never met, indulge and encourage my insanity.
Bonkers.

7 comments:

Wild Celtic said...

Is that Spencer for real? If so, he's a bit intimidating. Sorry about the hairspray thing ... I'm not a big spider fan! Lol

Jeannie said...

I LOL'd at the Marks & Spencer comment (before it was explained in the parenthetical). I agree with writing that childrens' book, too.

Sorry I missed the whole thing with Spencer but hope to hear how he's progressing. Reminds me of Charlotte's Web. Lol....

Philip said...

I tried to comment at work but couldn't. grr. I reckon Spencer's mates have been sneaking in through the keyhole. There are webs in every corner of the house. Or is that you installing them for yer spider mate.

pserean said...

With a solid name like spencer, i'm sure he must have survived the cold nights;)

(kudos to you for not going into wailing banshee mode and flapping away his lair...)

DPR said...

This is weird. We have Stuart the spider who uses our back door for his web spinning. As i use the door frequently to go out to smoke, I am constantly worried that I will forget and wear his web. My limbo moves are improving rapidly! On the odd occasion I have caused a web wipe out, Stuart never gets upset. He just starts again, with a big sigh.
I won't mention Simon, who has lived in the log store for 2 years now.

Madame DeFarge said...

(and I can't seem to post comments on your latest post, sorry!)

Spiders don't have names. Unless you can call them 'Squished' or 'Squashed',

Anonymous said...

Hello. And Bye.