Friday, 13 April 2012

Do not go gentle into that good night

I’ve been off work this week. Seven days without the petulant demands of the alarm clock and the regular rhythms of the working day. Seven days where time has stretched and contracted, shortened and lengthened, where my days have been filled with hours of no consequence and moments to savour.

As I get older, passing time is delineated in so many ways; the increasing depth of the lines on my face, the greying strands above my ears, the aching hours it takes to recover from any physical exertion. This morning, while getting dressed, I made a decision. As I hopped around the room on one leg, trying desperately to maintain my balance and not topple into the chest of drawers, I made a solemn vow.

No matter how old I get, however bent and frail, I will resist the urge to sit down to put my knickers on.

It’s no great challenge with socks – that only requires a slight lifting of the lower limb. But it’s a whole different trial with underwear; especially once you’re one leg in. There is a particular level of agility required to raise one foot and shoot it through the hole, without snagging your big toe on the elastic. No matter. I will not let the soft and beguiling edge of the bed tempt me; I will not sit down.

However feeble and wobbly I ultimately become, I will don my underwear while standing. I will dress upright until I am upright no more.


22 comments:

Nessa Roo said...

Well, of course you have to stand for that! Sometimes, depending on your style of undergarment, you might have to wiggle a few things around to get a cozier fit. You can't do that when your hiney's planted on the bed! But... What about pantyhose?! Surely you'll sit for those!

mybabyjohn/Delores said...

Yep...I'm with you. Still standing.

Raymond Alexander Kukkee said...

Sharon, that is such a good idea, go for the socks too while standing, it helps keep the balance keen!

Pat said...

'I will dress upright until I am upright no more.'
It help to be sober.

m said...

ok, good one. i'm dying with laughter over here, sharon. you brits and your knickers. funny we should both have, as i call them, PANTIES, on our minds today. i have a free coupon (no purchase necessary) for a hip hugger or thong at victoria's secret—going to get them tomorrow. so your plan is to dress upright until the end and my plan is to have great looking undies even when i am "upright no more."

Bill Dameron said...

Oh Sharon, but what happens when you fall and break a hip? But no worries, that is years away...

terlee said...

Standing to put on the undies is a must--though I have had the odd moment when my toe has hooked the lace and I've wobbled all over the bedroom, wildly off balance.

Underwear yoga, my favorite way to get the heart pumping...

Baglady said...

So funny (and dignified). Resistant but persistent seems especially fitting!

Starlight said...

I'm unable to put on my socks or underwear while standing in the morning because I have some serious issues with my balance.
Brilliantly written.

The Elephant's Child said...

I have significant difficulties with putting my knickers on while remaining upright. So far determination (bloody mindedness) has kept me upright but it is only a matter of time.
I'm with Starlight. Balance is not a happening thing.

Anne said...

Haha! This made me laugh but I'm with you. I refuse to sit while I can still do things on my two feet.

theplantgardener said...

Nice post. Reminds me of the quote, "don't get your knickers in a knot". Now that would be a balancing act!

Dicky Carter said...

Sounds like a plan to me. I'm refusing to let the hairs that I've noticed growing from my ear: get a grip. Its rubbish getting old :(

momto8 said...

I like your point!

Debbie said...

You are so right. I also balance, and to the edge of my little toe sometimes. Isn't it meant to be good for the core muscles?

I wondered if you had a preferred foot (mine is my left) to start with, because I think it makes all the difference.

Fran said...

That made me giggle! So true! Sitting down to put your knickers on is THE SIGN OF THE END.

Hillary said...

Haha! I often sit down - what does that say about me at 32? Hopeless!

Lizzie said...

BRILLIANT! Made me chuckle out loud at work. How sweet, and true.

Sharon Longworth said...

I've loved your reactions to this post - thank you all for your positive comments, and I'm glad so many of you were able to either laugh with me or empathise.

Nessa Roo - I'd just got my head round the image of 'wiggling things around a bit' when you hit me with the ultimate challenge - panty hose! - I'm almost tempted to try the standing-up approach, just so I can report back...

mybabyjohn/Delores - glad to have you with me in the standing up gang!

Raymond - ok, socks too.

Pat - uh oh - there are already too many occasions I have to approach sober, I was hoping for some drunken giggling as I topple...

m - I hope you found some new undies to be proud of!

Sharon Longworth said...

Bill - oh dear. I'll just have to spend the next few years practising hard to build my balancing skills and avoid the hip-fracturing fall,

terlee - thank you for introducing my new favourite phrase - which I fully intend to use again 'underwear yoga' - brilliant!

Baglady - you know me too well - stubborn to the point of stupidity.

Starlight - thank you for such a positive comment - I'm sorry about your issues with balance.

The elephants child - I'm a great fan of sheer bloody-mindedness - keep at it!

Sharon Longworth said...

Anne - thank you! I'm so glad I've got some fellow - stand uppers!

the plant gardener - 'knickers in a knot' - yep that would be some challenge...

Dicky - ear hairs? - now there's a whole post of its own, which luckily, because I'm a lady, I couldn't possibly write...

momto8 - thank you!

Debbie - always right foot first - though I have no idea what that says about me.

Sharon Longworth said...

Fran - here's hoping we can all avoid THE SIGN OF THE END!!!

Hillary - not hopeless - just not yet responding to the challenge...

Lizzie - thank you. I'm not sure there's anything nicer than being told you've made someone chuckle.