Tuesday, 3 January 2012

Shortfall - a poem

If I could close my eyes and turn away

Pretend I haven’t seen or caused the fault

Not know I was the one who disappointed

Nor face the truth, that I have fallen short



It seems so hard to take the errors’ credit

Or make myself accept my personal blame

Gather in the harsh accusing finger

Not whisper out some other culprit’s name



Oh. I wish I could return to childhood

Let someone else protect and make it right

Shrug away the weight of resolution

Sleep undisturbed throughout the longest night

32 comments:

mybabyjohn/Delores said...

It really does stink when you have to admit you've made a mistake.

Dicky said...

That's so lovely. I so wish I could write poetry. Sounds you had a tough first day back at work.

Starlight said...

Beautiful.

Pearl said...

Darkly beautiful.

Pearl

ND Mitchell said...

I like the way you only include one full stop and it's an unexpected one. Fits perfectly with the mood of the poem.

Blissed-Out Grandma said...

I'd like to pretend I don't know what this beautiful poem is about. You've captured it.

The Elephant's Child said...

If I knew where my guilt button was, I would disconnect it. Permanently.

The Elephant's Child said...

PS: Thank you, beautifully expressed.

steven said...

sharon - wow! cerebrally a mistake is like a gift because it gives you a chance to learn about yourself and others. emotionally - well it's a hellhole - or it can be. phew. steven

Bobby Stevenson said...

Beautiful.simply beautiful.

Cle Reveries said...

Very very beautiful!
Thank you Sharon I like your poems, they are like a caress for my soul.

Debbie said...

I'd love to write poetry. That was lovely.

The Idiot Gardener said...

I loved the pace in that first stanza! I've always been of the mind the punctuation in poetry is an all or nothing thing, and if nothing then enjambments should take it's place. Whilst I personally fall on the nothing/enjambments side of the fence, I think this could actually have more of an 'aural' quality if you used punctuation. It could add a slightly breathless element.

Shit, I might have to put up some of my poetry; that'll send them screaming to the hills!

lily said...

Darkly lovely, almost painful.
Nearly always profound in some way.

Sharon Longworth said...

Thank you to everyone who has commented so far - my poems usually get far fewer responses from readers, so I really appreciate your feedback.

Mybabyjohn/Delores - wouldn't be so much easier if we could just hide until it all got sorted?

Dicky - thank you. I'd love to see some poetry from you.

Starlight - thank you. Again!

Pearl - really glad you liked it.

ND Mitchell - thank you. I always find the punctuation really hard to get right in poetry, so I'm glad this worked for you.

Sharon Longworth said...

Blissed out Grandma - mmm, the better me would rather I didn't know either...

The Elephant's Child - that's the trouble with guilt; it's so hard to switch off isn't it?

Steven - indeed! I'm sure the world would look and feel better if we could focus on mistakes as ways to learn - but I know I've still got some way to go with that.

Bobby - thank you so much.

Cle - that's such a lovely thing to say - thank you.

Sharon Longworth said...

Debbie - thank you. Have you written any? I don't nearly as much as I think I'd like to, some days it works others it just feels like hard work.

IG - thank you so much for this constructive suggestion - I will go back and have a play. And I'd love to read some of your poems - so please do put them up!

Lily - thank you, that's a lovely comment.

Pat said...

I know the feeling so well . wish I could have described it so pungently.

positive thinking power said...

This one is simple yet deep and beautiful. Good job and sharing this thoughtful poem.

Lauren said...

Knowing that you are wrong, and when to back down makes a person strong. Sill doesn't make one believe it; with it come anxiety and shame. The irony associated with life can be so cruel.

Eryl said...

I am smitten with the thought of taking credit for an error. It suggests, to me, that the poem's persona is on the cusp of repositioning herself with regard to her mistakes. So, this feels like a poem full of hope, even with the hiss of sibilance running through it. Good stuff, Sharon.

Kristen said...

I love this poem. It strikes home with me and I think you've captured a common feeling in an elegant, yet effective way :)

Lizzie said...

Such a beautiful, deep poem. I could really relate to this. More poems from you please; they are marvellous.

adrianconoza said...

That's a nice poem with fine words. I hope you may share more poems.(Thumbs up)

Bill Dameron said...

To sleep through the night undisturbed....How I wish for that. But by adulthood, we've built up too many worries and regrets for that.

Joe Pereira said...

I love the poem Sharon, especially the ending - returning to childhood. Keep on writing, please

Sharon Longworth said...

Thanks Pat. 'Pungently' is such a great word - almost worthy of a poem of its own!

Positive thinking power - thank you!

Lauren - it's a strange old mix of anxiety, shame and pride isn't it?

Eryl - I think your positive response to this says just as much about you as it does the poem - generous and thoughtful. Thank you

Sharon Longworth said...

Kristen - thank you so much. I'm really glad this worked for you.

Lizzie - thanks. I'm always a bit worried about putting up poems, but I've been delighted with the response to this one.

Adrianconoza - thank you for the comment and the thumbs up!

Bill - ah yes, that elusive whole night's sleep - it's been a while!

Joe - thank you so much - that's such a nice thing to say and very much appreciated.

Anne said...

Beautifully-written; eloquent and truly sensitive to the human situation.

Young at Heart said...

quite brilliantly put!!

Sojourner said...

*Sigh*, Expressed very well. Oh how tempting it often is to "whisper out some other culprit's name"

Monica said...

I love this, it's so pretty. The words you used are all so perfect for expressing how someone would feel about mistakes and blame.